Zimbabwean women abroad pull each other down

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A man asked Is there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women?

I really can’t count the number of times I’ve heard or read that quote. For some time it did not make sense to me that successful women wouldn’t want their fellow counterparts to be successful. I mean there’s enough room at the top for women. Even if there isn’t, we can always be like men and squeeze ourselves in somehow. Or is that just wishful thinking? One would think that being in a foreign land and away from home women could unite and fight the obstacles facing them.

Lauretta Nyangani of Northampton England recounted how she was interviewed by a Zimbabwean lady who was a manageress at a care home. “I was so excited i felt my prayers were answered. A Zimbabwean woman would understand my plight. How wrong was I. ” Laurreta did not get the job she was told that Zimbabweans are liars and she can not be trusted. This she was told by another Zimbabwean.

In most cases if you share your personal problems with a Zimbabwean lady you will hear your story all over England.  Some ladies come to your house only to spy on what you have and do not have. Before you know it the work place is a buzz with your private details.   

My thoughts randomly drifted in the direction of women with the PhD (Pull her Down) syndrome upon recalling various conversations that ranged from how some women do not like Other women because they refuse to attribute her success to her hard work, to women I know randomly making up stories about one another to destroy reputations that have taken years to build, I have come to the conclusion that the PhD syndrome is not a myth, it is real. The question is why is it there?  Asked Monalisa Basket a nurse from London.

I believe very strongly that many women are keen to pull down their female counterparts for one very good reason: they, like males have been conditioned to believe women should not be successful. It’s not only successful women who pull down their female colleagues, unsuccessful women do it too.  Retorted Mama Nancy of Luton.  You can spent a good thirty years trying to remember the last time You heard a woman admire a fellow woman without pointing out a single flaw or belittling the difficultly-offered admiration by being condescending, surely you will struggle.

The truth is that Zimbabwean women society has its standards for its women. there are gender roles people claim are effective representations of what society ought to be, and these representations should not be lost with our increased civilisation. These gender roles did not in any way provide room for female success; they provided women with nothing more than the ability to remain hidden while their men shone. This was seen as the ideal role of a woman, and a woman who did not fulfil such a role was considered to be a rebel or was ostracised by society. This is the model many Zimbabwean women still subscribe to centuries after the stone age has ended. Some Zimbabwean women still hope to be in the shadow of men; I see BBM status updates like ‘God bless my man’s hustle so i can bath in the fragrance of his success‘,  said Mrs Pastor Mushonga of African Church. Such thoughts suggest that some women still want to be shadows of men; they believe that’s their destiny, their role in life, hence it comes as a shock when they see another woman challenging the status quo.

Women hardly appreciate another woman’s success; they have their own ideologies as to why a woman was able to attain the height she has attained: she either slept with some powerful men along the way, she knew some people who pushed her to the top, or she used some funny tactics that should not be mentioned. These are the stories women spread about one another in a bid to destroy the reputation of a woman they believe is challenging the status quo society set, or a woman they see as a threat. Some women twist stories and tell lies, some insult other women for being strong in the face of a broken relationship or marriage. Some women simply feel they must be the best, hence they must compete. Failure to win the competition means the gloves come off, and the other woman had better be ready for a show down.

It is shameful for Zimbabwean women to constantly pulling each other down, even in the work place. It is disheartening that even in our fight for equality, we are our own biggest enemies. Women are the biggest traitors to their own empowerment, because they often side with the opposition simply to bring down any woman they believe is a threat to them. They are so wrapped up in the model society has designed for them that they sometimes involuntarily fight against their own movement. Jealousy is a constant cloud that hangs over many Zimbabwean women, and the need to be better than their friends and colleagues remains the root of their insecurity. They walk into rooms and compare themselves with others, only being ultimately satisfied when they have established they are better than every other woman in the room. They are always on the lookout for dirt on other women, and any gossip or rumour they can twist or help spread is what excites them.

Zimbabwean Women abroad should stand together; the burden on women is heavy, and no woman, married or not can carry her burden alone. Society already has its design for women that involves them being relegated to the background, they should not contribute to that by pushing one another off the ladder simply because they want to get there first or they want to wallow in despair together. Get rid of the PhD syndrome. Stand with your fellow woman, not against her.

At a party no good comment comes from a woman to a woman. There is always something negative to say after women met.  

Talks about how dirty how clothes do not fit. How promiscuous.  In most cases they even gossip about how they walk type of shoes to the chip perfumes.

Some nurses lost their jobs because of the Zimbabwean women PHD syndrome.

Vazet2000@yahoo.co.uk

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